Bleach Attitude Types
by icewhirlingpages
Summary: Every one has a blood type like A,B,O...etc, but what about attitude type? Bleach's official website will give you an intro about the basic types. Now read the official, declassified and totally legit files on each type and the insanity they cause! CHAPTER 7 IS UP!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**This is my first fanfic. It will be like a small article posted on a website, I'm giving the aforementioned note to clarify some things in the chapter. There will be notes proceeded with '*', don't search the keywords, I placed them there for the sake of the article to be like a one posted on a website. You know the hyperlinks following some notes for more details.

**UPDATE: **Since FanFiction had some problem in posting the chapter, which resulted in deleting some of the words at the start of each line, I modified it to see the result.

Disclaimer: It's old I know, but since it's my first I'll put it... **I DON'T OWN BLEACH**.

Type 1 G.S.Y

By: I.W.P-chan

You know that you have a G.S.Y attitude type if…

1. You are of the highest rank at your work.

2. Your eyes are closed most of the time that people don't know if you're paying attention or just simply not caring.

3. You cut your words so suddenly that people doubt that you fell asleep.

4. Your most effective way of drawing attention is by banging your cane, and a large one at that, to the floor.

5. You always carry a huge cane with you.

6. Your cane is surprisingly a very scary weapon.

*Search keywords "Ryuujin Jakka : Sealed Form" for more details.

7. You don't have any problem turning on the oven, and/or burning the food you're currently preparing.

*Search keywords "Ryuujin Jakka : Domain" for more details.

8. You have a booming voice.

9. You're mostly called "Ol' Man" and/or "Gramps".

10. When you get into a fight, which is rare, you take off your top clothing at a blinding speed!

*Search keywords "Bleach's Third Movie : Fade to Black, The Fighting Scene Between Gotei 13 and the Hollow" for more details.

Replies from site members:

**Soutaichou G.S Yamamoto **Odd! I scored ten!

**I.W.P-chan **Hounto ni?! *sarcasm* You must have the G.S.Y attitude type! I never thought! *leaks sarcasm the same way Ichigo leaks reiatsu*

** Peach-chan ***sad*I scored just ONE!

**I.W.P-chan **Why would you want to have a G.S.Y attitude type ,Momo-chan?

** Peach-chan **Because then I'll be of the highest rank!

**I.W.P-chan ***sweatdrop* Momo-chan, watch it. You're being OoC.

**A/N: **And that's it. So what do you think about it?

Like it? hate it? something in between?

Review and let me know.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**This is the second chapter. All thanks goes to MorganBanner for betaing the fic.

**Disclaimer: **When elephants sprout wings and fly, I'll own bleach.

* * *

Type 2 S.F

By : I.W.P-chan

You know that you have S.F attitude type if...

1. You're uptight, serious and bloodthirsty.

2. You're WAY too obsessed with black cats.

3. You're fast, incredibly fast and stealthy.

* Search keywords "Hoho" for more details.

4. You're NOT straight, OR you don't appear to be

* Search keywords "sexual orientation" for more details.

5. You take of your coat/jacket whenever you fight, which is quite often.

6. Your weapon of choice kills your opponents with two strikes.

* Search keywords "Suzumebachi" for more details.

7. Your favorite animals are cats.

8. Your favorite colors are black and golden.

9. You would sacrifice your well-being and life for a cat, especially a black one.

* Search keywords "Yoruichi Shihouin : Cat Form" for more details.

10. You would stutter in front of a specific person.

Replies from site members:

**Soi Fon Cat Lover**Who wrote this? *fingers Suzumebachi*

**I.W.P-chan***gulps* Dunno.

**Ever-Cold **I think it's written by an 'I.W.P-chan'.

**Soi Fon Cat Lover**Sting all your enemies to death, Suzumebachi!

**I.W.P-chan***scowls* Is that a threat? *draws Zanpakuto*

**Soi Fon Cat Lover***slightly shocked* You have a Zanpakuto?!

**I.W.P-chan***smirks* 'caurse I do I'm a shinigamified, hollowfied, ARRANCARFIED human with SPECIAL ABILITIES! *grins like Kenpachi* Now let's fight!

** Fight-Me***grins* Good! A fight!

* * *

So... you like it? hate it? something in between?

review, and let me know.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Enjoy the third chapter of Bleach Attitude Types. Many many many thanks goes for MorganBanner for betaing the chapter.

**Disclaimer:** When Rukia hates Chappy I'll own Bleach.

* * *

Type 3 G.I

By: I.W.P-chan

You know that you have G.I attitude type if...

1. You NEVER open your eyes.

2. You scare the living daylights out of people with your apparently permanent fox-like grin.

3. You're the closest creature to snakes. (Both literally and figuratively)

4. No one knows your real eye color.

5. Hell no one knows your true color!

6. You speak with an accent.

7. You're a double agent.

8. You lie about the full extent of your abilities.

9. Your most complicated plans, that takes years to fulfill, backfires at you.

* Search keywords "Gin Ichimaru's Death Scene" for more details.

10. You don't have enough traits to fit even this incredible short article.

Replies from site members :

**Ketsune-Kun ** Tha' was mean o' ya, I.W.P-chan.

**I.W.P-chan** Awwwwwwww~ Don' be sad, Kitsune-Kun~

**Ketsune-Kun ***pouts* I don' like it when ya call meh 'Kitsune-Kun'.

**I.W.P-chan** Why? 'cause it's true, Kitsune-Kun?

**Ketsune-Kun ** *whines* Nooooo! Yer not listenin'!

**I.W.P-chan** *skillfully feigns innocence*

**Ketsune-Kun ** *got serious, stopped grinning and opened his eyes*

**I.W.P-chan** ...

**Scary-Smile ** I am sorry to interfere, but I.W.P-chan had been traumatized and went to consult a therapist.

* * *

Sooo...

Do you like it? hate it? something in between?

Review and let me know.


	4. Chapter 4

Yay! Chapter 4!

All thanks goes to MorganBanner for betaing the chapter...

**Disclaimer: **I won't stop writing those just to annoy you... When Ichigo says "Hi, I'm Strawberry. Nice to meet you." in reality, I'll own Bleach.

* * *

Type 4 R.U

By : I.W.P-chan

You know that you have R.U attitude type if...

1. You're a medical expert.

2. You're a parental figure, either a mother or a father.

3. You have a sweet smile.

4. Your language is polite.

5. You're a soft spoken person.

6. You're a kind person.

7. You usually smile.

8. You take care of everyone and everything.

9. You're smart and intelligent.

10. I can't write a bad thing about you because you scare the living hell out of me with your smile.

Replies from site members :

**Scary-Smile ** Oh! Now THIS is an _interesting_ subject.

**I.W.P-chan** *laughs nervously* Oh! Really?

**Scary-Smile ** Yes, _especially_ the last point.

**I.W.P-chan** *gulps* I don't know from where that came from.

**Scary-Smile ** Are you _sure?_

**I.W.P-chan** YES! Absolutely sure!

**Scary-Smile ** Who wrote it, _then?_

**I.W.P-chan** *fidgets* You see...it's...um...I was one trait short from completing the...um...report...so...I gave it to a friend of mine...to wri...te...it...

**Scary-Smile ** And who would that _friend_ be?

**I.W.P-chan **My friend? Oh...my...friend...well he...she is...um...Rangiku-chan

**Scary-Smile ** I _see_.

**I.W.P-chan** Oh no!

**Scary-Smile ** Is there something _wrong?_

**I.W.P-chan** Nope! *whispers* That was a close call.

* * *

Sooo... what do you think?

like it? hate it? something in between?

Review and let me know.


	5. Chapter 5

Yay! Another chapter! All thanks goes to MorganBanner for betaing.

This will be the last chapter before I go on hiatus... why? school. *sigh*

Anyway... on with the chapter...

* * *

Type 5 S.A

By: I.W.P-chan

You know that you have S.A attitude type if...

1. You have this "You-are-all-slaves-to-my-plan" smirk on your face all the time.

2. You're a two-faced, know-it-all jerk.

3. You're a wannabe god.

4. You claim authority over everything and everyone.

5. You're most-repeated sentence is "I know, because I planned it all from the very (friggin') dawn of time"

6. You're the one pulling the strings behind every treachery.

7. You make yourself a lord.

8. You DO get your subordinates bed ridden from a poison named "Green Tea"

9. You regularly enjoy twisting the minds of innocent people.

10. Regardless of whatever you did, whatever you wanted to do and whoever you tricked and wanted to rule. You'll end up jailed, powerless, for a very VERY long time.

Replies from site members:

**I.W.P-chan** Hey everybody! What do you think of the new type? Please, tell me. *puppy eyes* Pwetty pwease.

**Ice Dragon ** *sighs in annoyance* I am more interested in knowing the reason behind Matsumoto's current, near-permanent residence at the 4th.

**I.W.P-chan** Shiro-chan! *squeals* Here, have a cookie!

**Ice Dragon ** *vein signs pulsing* I AM NOT A KID! DON'T CALL ME WITH THAT GODDAMN NICKNAME, DAMMIT!

**I.W.P-chan** C'mon! It's WATERMELON flavored!

** Peach-chan** Are there even watermelon flavored cookies?!

**I.W.P-chan** Duh! Orihime-chan sent it in a care package. It's watermelon flavored, stuffed with red bean paste mixed with chocolate. It came along with red bean paste, vanilla and honey flavored whip-cream and ONION juice!

** Peach-chan** Whoever eats that goes to the 4th.

**I.W.P-chan** That's why Shiro-chan is on his way to the 4th now.

** Peach-chan** How did make him eat it?!

**I.W.P-chan** Ooooh, he didn't eat it.

** Peach-chan** Then how...?!

**I.W.P-chan** He drank 'it'.

** Peach-chan** WHAT?!

** Scary-Smile-chan** I wonder why Captain Hitsugaya is here. He's always very careful about the food he eats, why is he suffering from food poisoning?

**I.W.P-chan** Unohana-taichou, it's not food poisoning, it's tea poisoning. I knew he'd like the onion juice.

** Scary-Smile-chan** Onion juice?!

**I.W.P-chan** He MUST know better than to order me to STOP calling him Shiro-chan. *evil grin*

* * *

Soooo...

What do ya think? like it? hate it? something in between?

Review and let me know!


	6. Chapter 6

Finally... VACATION!

I finally finished my end of term exams for the first semester... the Scientific Division is tiresome... but still better than the Literature Division...

Thanks for MorganBanner for Betaing!

**WARNING** contains severe madness, idiocy and randomness

Aaaaand HAPPY NEW YEAR

* * *

Type 6 B.K

By : I.W.P-chan

You know that you have B.K attitude type if...

1. As a child you were hot headed.

2. As an adult you are cold, emotionless, impassive and completely stoic!

3. You have emotional complex.

4. You follow the rules blindly.

5. You're a stick in the mud.

6. The promises you make are hard for you to fulfill.

7. Your smirk indicates the nearing of the apocalypse.

8. You're the first to make the color pink a sign of death.

9. You're the first to turn flower petals into deadly weapons.

*Search keywords "Senbonzakura" for more details.

10. The word "Strawberry" is at the top of your Black List regardless of the language.

Replies from site members:

** -chan** Hey! Byakushi! Whaddaya think?

**Ever cold ** ...

**I.W.P-chan** Hey! Tell me!

**Ever cold ** ...

**I.W.P-chan** Oh, come on!

**Ever cold ** ...

**I.W.P-chan** Say something!

**Ever cold ** ...

**I.W.P-chan** I'M STARTING TO ACT OOC! AND IT'S IMPOSSIBLE WHEN SOMEONE WRITES WITH THEMSELVES AS A CHARACTER TO MAKE THEM ACT OOC! YOU'RE MAKING ME DO THE IMPOSSIBLE!

**Ever cold ** ...

**I.W.P-chan** Stop this or else I'll throw your pride right out the window!

**Ever cold ** *finally interested* How?

** -chan** *smiles* Easy! *takes out a paper, writes on it "Kuchiki Byakuya's Pride" and throws out the window* There! Right. Out. The. Window!

**Ever cold ** I don't think it is possible.

**I.W.P-chan** Oh yeah?

**Ever cold ** You will see.

_*in the next building*_

**Hitsu** *angry* Matsumoto!

**Matsu** *snores*

**Hitsu** *tick mark* Wake up, Matsumoto!

**Matsu** *still snoring*

**Hitsu** *1154889664886258536 tick marks* MATSUMOTO!

**Matsu** *snoring blissfully*

**Hitsu** *enters I-Will-Freeze-Hell-Over-If-You-Don't-Wake-Up mode* That's it! Set upon the frosted heavens, HYOURINMARU!

**Matsu** *STILL ASLEEP!*

_*outside*_

**Some Random Shinigami** *shivers and looks around* The wind is picking up. I wonder why...

_*inside with -chan and Ever cold *_

**I.W.P-chan** *looks at the window and sees the wind returning the paper into the room* Can't be! *pouts* I'll think of something else...

_*30 years, 5 months, 26 days, 13 hours, 46 minutes, 4 seconds and 99 fractions of a second later*_

**I.W.P-chan** *an imaginary, dusty light bulb lights above her head* Found it!

**Ever cold ** *wakes up from his 30 years, 5 months, 26 days, 13 hours, 46 minutes, 4 seconds and 99 fractions of asecond Sleeping-Beauty like slumber but not with a kiss from prince charming*

**I.W.P-chan** *takes a small rock out of nowhere and ties the paper to it* THERE!

_*outside*_

**Renji** *Whistling while walking peacefully* Such a nice day! Ouch! *gets hit by a rock* What the...?! *grabs the rock, throws it at the window it came from and continues walking*

_*back inside*_

**I.W.P-chan** OUCH! *gets hit square in the face with a small rock and falls back breaking the imaginary, dusty light bulb above her head*

**Ever cold ** *wants to smirk but can't because of his stuck 'rusty' face muscles*

**I.W.P-chan** *stands and grabs the rock* What the... ?! *realization hits her... hard* Who threw it back?! *gets into Hitsugaya-Angry mode* FINE!

_*3 seconds and 44 fractions of a second later*_

**I.W.P-chan** *puts the rock in Byakuya's hand, carries him and throws him out the window* Better! OUCH! *gets hit by a rock... again* For God's sake! *gets mad, carries the rock, walks to the window and roars to the whole of Seireitei* I SWEAR I'LL CRUSH YOUR PRIDE KUCHIKI!

_*next day*_

**Ever cold ** *sits on his disk, grabs the Seireitei's newspaper, opens it and reads "NEWS FLASH! Kuchiki Rukia and substitute Shinigami Kurosaki Ichigo were found _**together**_ in the 6th division's administrative office at a _**VERY**_ late time! More Details on page 77599724.887444"* What?! *starts to see in red* Substitute Shinigami Kurosaki Ichigo... *stands to leave*

**Paperwork** *looks at him bored* Ya gonna leave meh? Y'know I'm in due time in about 3 seconds...

_*after 3 seconds*_

**Ever cold ** *finishes the paperwork, grabs Senbon Zakura and storms out of the office*

_*in the living world*_

A certain 45 years old Substitute Shinigami and a doctor Strawberry was unaware of his approaching death.

Perhaps with his current 4 wives, 34669 exes and 300-child-army, death would be a very nice change!

_*in Hueco Mundo*_

**Aizen** *sighs in boredom as one of his spies relies to him his latest information about Seireitei* This is worse than hearing that the substitute Shinigami intends to defeat me with his 300-child-army! Who is the kind spirit to give such an information?

Somewhere out there... I.W.P-chan sneezes 9 times

* * *

THE END!

For the sake of the principle KISS I'm going to say just one word: REVIEW!

Salam

I.W.P-chan


	7. Chapter 7

Type 7 S.K +

By: Some random person

You know that you have S.K + attitude type if...

1. You are something.

2. You do something.

3. You are zzzzzzzzzzz...

4. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz...

5. ...Zzzzzzzzzzz...

6. ...Zzzzzzzzzzzz...

7. ...Where was I?!

8. ...No... Better yet, where am I?

9. ...Oh! Right!

10. You hate something.

Replies from site members:

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**Omake**

**Uki** *smiles* Shiro-chan!

**Hitsu** *slight tick mark* Is something wrong, Ukitake?

**Uki** Have some candy! *takes out a huge bag of candy* Enjoy!

**Hitsu** *speechless* ...

**Uki** *leaves waving* Come to my office if you ever want more!

_*in Hitsu's office*_

**Hitsu** *Drops the bag on the surprisingly Matsu empty/free couch* What am I supposed to do with it?

**I.W.P-chan ***pops out of nowhere* I can get rid of it for ya!

**Hitsu** *turns towards her* Ryoka!

**I.W.P-chan** *pouts* I'm hurt! Y'know... I'm a shinigamified, hollowfied, ARRANCARFIED human WITH special abilities!

**Hitsu** *not buying the bullshit* Like ANYONE can EVER be that...

**I.W.P-chan ***strikes a dramatic pose, holds out a pen and speaks* Behold! The true and ultimate weapon! The PEN! It can hold the strongest grip on life and reality! And, I, as a proud author of the division no. Square Root of 63.937...

**Hitsu** *whispers* Is there even such a division?

**I.W.P-chan** ...Shall release my weapon and bestow upon you the bliss of landing your eyesight on it!

**COMMERCIAL BREAK!**

Tired and want a break but you can't before you finish the paperwork? If you are, we have the solution for your problem! The ultimate PAPERWORK-QUICK-FINISH set will be your best companion while in your office! The SIGNATURE-STAMP will help you sign the paperwork faster than normal! With it you won't need to waste time signing! Custom made! The TENSA-ZANGETSU BRACELET will increase your hand movement's speed to a speed matching the mighty Bankai Tensa Zangetsu itself! The FLAWLESS-WRITING PEN will help you write flawlessly! No complicated, misunderstood hand writing and misspelling anymore!

The PAPERWORK-QUICK-FINISH set is limited. Call us now at the nonexistent division no. 9.444 at 079XXXXXX8

Book your own set before it flies out of your reach with the wings of DAIGUREN-HYOURINMARU!

_Back to the omake..._

**I.W.P-chan** I shall now release the ultimate shikai of the 0.0007th seat of the division no. 35.5554343!

**Hitsu** *whispers in boredom* Wasn't it the division no. Square Root of 63.937?

**Voice of Madness and Randomness** *suspiciously sounds like Urahara* This division changes it's number constantly. Reason: Stealth and Assassination.

**Hitsu** Stealth I can understand. But... assassination?!

**Voice of M&R** It sounded ninjaish.

**Hitsu** Is 'ninjaish' even a word?!

**Voice of M&R** It is.

**Hitsu** I don't beli...

**Voice of M&R** It's written in here... that means it is.

**Hitsu** ...eve you!

**Random Story Teller** The shikai may now commence!

**Hitsu** Do story tellers normally say such sentences?!

**I.W.P-chan** *clears her throat* Ye text!

**Hitsu** *whispers after her with an eye roll* Ye lord...

**I.W.P-chan** ...collection of sentences and paragraphs!

**Hitsu** Mask of blood and flesh...

**I.W.P-chan** ...prologues, epilogues, chapters, omakes, ANs, letters, words, punctuation marks, fandoms, fanfiction-s, original works, OCs, OoCnesses, madness, randomnesses, special chapters, reviews, gushers, flames, flamers, critiques, follows, followers, Mary Sues, slashes, crack pairings...

**Hitsu** Can it even get any worse?!

**Voice of M&R** You spoke too soon...

**I.W.P-chan** ...meow, MEOW, meeeeeooooow, MEOOW, MEEOW, ROAR, ROOOAAR, meow, bark, sneer, snicker, scoff, sweat drop, anime fall, face palm...

_*10 hours later*_

**I.W.P-chan **...evil cackles arise and feed me, supreme ink-filled-plastic-stick write their fates! $$#% &**&%$#!

**Hitsu** *wakes up* What was your Zanpakuto's name again? I didn't hear it.

**Random Zanpakuto Voice** *suspiciously sounds like Hyourinmaru* I.W.P-chan, you are not ready yet to wield me. You should wait for the proper time... and audience...

**I.W.P-chan** *teary eyes* Really, Zanpakuto-sama?

**Random Zanpakuto Voice** Yes!

**I.W.P-chan** *eyes sparkling* I shall not disappoint you, Zanpakuto-sama, and shall prove myself worthy of wielding you!

**Hitsu** *is fed up* Can we now get back to the REAL **MAIN** topic now?

**I.W.P-chan** Which is what?

**Hitsu **You getting rid of the candy bag.

**I.W.P-chan** Right! Working on it!

**Hitsu** *sighs in relief, heads towards his desk and starts doing paperwork*

_*5 minutes later*_

**Hitsu** *looks up from his work and sees the candy bag no longer there* What did you do to it?

**I.W.P-chan** *smiles brightly* I ate all the choco thingies...

**Hitsu** And the rest?

**I.W.P-chan** *smiles wider if possible* I gave them to Yachiru-chan!

**Hitsu** *returns to work* Good girl! *suddenly freezes, then looks up in horror* You gave them to... to... _Yachiru_?!

_*after a girly shriek and Hitsu jumping out of the window*_

**I.W.P-chan** *thinks* Is there something wrong? *remembers something* Perhaps I should have told him that there's a captains meeting starting now... perhaps..

_*in the first division... every captain is present except for Hitsu*_

**Yama** Why is captain Hitsugaya absent?

**Soi **Dead?

**Uno** Sick?

**Koma** Doing work?

**Kyo **Asleep?

**Ken **Training to be ready to fight me?

**Mayu** Filling out forms to be my next test subject?

**Uki **Resting?

**Shuu** Searching for Rangiku?

**Momo** Eating watermelon?

**Kira** Drinking tea?

**Yama** *considers the answers* These are possibilities. I never thought captain Hitsugaya did so many things!

**Bya** *confused, but... well... you know it's not obvious!* I thought it was a rhetorical question.

**Yama** Regardless of reason or reasons *insert a choir of "after we killed our brain cells thinking of some?"* The captains meeting no.988764664321123...

**Bya** *low whisper* You keep a record?!

**Yama** ...shall now...

_*the door is slammed open, Hitsu standing at the entrance*_

**Everyone** *groan* Now he is going to restart the whole speech! AND he will add to the number of the meetings! You have NO idea how much he takes to say the number!

**Yama** Captain Hitsugaya, I hope you have a convincing excuse as to why...

**Hitsu** *is stricken by horror* Yachiru's high on sugar!

**Everyone** *petrified*

_*10 minutes later*_

**Yama** *outside, his kosode off and Ryuujin Jakka in his hands* SOUND THE ALARM! NOW! ANY MOMENT OF HESITATION WILL BE THE DOWNFALL OF US ALL! BANKAI!

**Soi **SHUNKO!

**Hitsu** *runs toward the central 46 chambers with an imaginary Matsu, destroys the doors, gets inside, sees imaginary corpses, checks imaginary blood, locates an imaginary Kira, runs after him with the imaginary Matsu, the imaginary Kira says that an imaginary Momo is following him, leaves the imaginary Kira with imaginary Matsu, returns to find the imaginary Momo stabbed by an imaginary Aizen, goes bankai, the imaginary Aizen slashes him with an imaginary Kyouka Suigetsu, thus gets an imaginary wound, his bankai shatters, his imaginary blood seeps from his imaginary wound and hears the imaginary Aizen saying "even though it's not the time for it, it's nice to see snow"* I... fai... led...

**Uno** *shreds her clothes to reveal ones of native American nature, draws two lines of paint on her face and roars* ON THE ENEMY!

***thud* *thump* *thud* *thud*** *Momo, Uki, Bya and Kira fainted*

**Shuu** *goes to search for a suitable place for a grave*

**Ken** *unusually serious, takes off his eyepatch, grabs his sword and charges outside*

**Mayu ***rushes to Yachiru-proof his division*

**Koma** *um... does something... outside*

**Kyo** *girly shriek* Nanao-chan, hide me! *runs out*

_*after the meeting hall grew empty except for the unconscious bodies of Momo, Uki, Bya and Kira*_

**Uki** *stands up normally* Good! Everything is under control! *takes out a Zanpakuto* Shatter, Kyouka Suigetsu! *turns into Aizen*

**Aizen** Perfect! My plan to destroy the whole of Soul Society with a sugar-high-pink-haired demon/terror/horror/devil/hell/death sign/bad omen is going smoothly...

**Mysterious Voice** Hohohohoho! Not so fast!

**Aizen ***talks VERY slow* Aaaaai shhaaalll deeeffeeaaatt aaaall...

**Mysterious Voice** ...not so slow either.

**Aizen** *speech returns to normal* ...and rise to Godhood!

**Mysterious Voice** No, you won't! With the power of Love and Justice we shall defeat you!

**Aizen** *horror stricken* Nooooo!

_**To be continued... or not!**_


End file.
